Guess what! Babies are an ugly burden on society!

So here’s something that makes me want to strangle people with barbed wire: Babies.

Your baby, your cousin’s baby, your friend’s baby: All ugly burdens. In fact, human babies are by far the ugliest burdens on the planet. Need proof? Here:


Look at the baby seal above, then look at this abomination:

Baby Kramer

That’s right, baby humans are sublimely inferior to baby animals of all kinds. In fact, your baby not only isn’t cute, it’s probably retarded like this Cosmo Kramer look-alike.

So, what brought this on, you ask? Well, I’m sitting in a journalism class, trying to play poker on my cell phone, and all I can hear is some bitch behind me talking about how cute her sister’s baby is. Naturally, I flipped over my desk and threatened to set her on fire if she didn’t shut up.

So then she’s all like, “What’s your problem, man?”

And then I’m like, “…”

I didn’t answer because I was too busy peeing in her Coach bag.

In summary, babies are only good for two things: Tax breaks and shark bait:


~ by mfive on April 1, 2008.

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